Listening Skills TrainingYour listening skills are one of the most important skills you can have and if you are very good at listening you will greatly improve your relationships with other people in your life and you will also be more effective at your job. 

Why do we listen?

  • We listen because we want to get more information
  • We listen so we can understand what others have to say
  • We listen because we enjoy what we hear
  • We listen so we can learn new things.

Unfortunately very few of us really know how to listen. According to a recent study we only remember 25% to 50% of what we hear. This means that when someone is talking to us we only remember half of what they said. If this doesn’t sound so bad, the reciprocal is also true. When you talk with your spouse or a colleague he or she will pay attention to only half of what you’re saying. Not so good, right? 

This wouldn’t be so bad if in those 25 – 50% you managed to capture all the essential things. But that is never the case. So how can we improve our listening skills? How can we become better listeners? 

To have better listening skills you have to have a higher level of self-awareness. If you understand your personal style of communicating you will definitely be able to create good and long lasting impressions with other people around you. 

Taking training courses to develop your people skills will help you improve your listening skills as well. The easiest way to improve your listening skills is to become an active listener. 

What does this mean? it means that you make a conscious effort to not just hear what the other person says to you, but actually understand what he is saying and what message he is trying to send you. 

To do this it is necessary for you to be very attentive to the other person when he is talking. 

  • Don’t allow any distractions to grab your attention,
  • Don’t let your mind wander to other places and especially…
  • Don’t think of what you will gonna say when the other person stops talking.
  • You cannot let yourself get bored and lose focus on what your colleague is talking about.

If you allow any of these to happen you won’t understand what the other person just said and you cannot actively participate in that conversation. Even if you think you can get away with not listening, people know when you are not paying attention.

 

Quick Tip:

If you find very hard to pay attention and stay focused on what someone has to say, an easy way to stay engaged is to repeat their words in your mind as they say them. This will help you stay focused and it will also reinforce the message their trying to send you. 

 

Quick Tips For Becoming A Better Listener

What are the small things you can do right now that will make you a better listener and let the others feel as they are not talking to a brick wall. 

  • you can simply acknowledge by nodding your head or saying “uh huh”. This doesn’t necessarily mean you agree with what the other has to say, but lets him or her know that you are paying attention.
  • Your body language can also help you to pay attention and not let your mind run wild.
  • Responding to your speaker is also a great way to encourage him or her to continue speaking. Simply recapping what he said indicates that you understood the message and that you are paying attention.
  • Asking questions in a way that is not offensive or disturbing is also a good way to let the speaker know someone is listening to him or her.

 

The 5 Key Elements of Good Listening Skills

In order to be a good active listener you need to have these five key elements. They will help you hear and understand what the other person is saying and also lets the other person know that you are listening to them.

1. Show You are actually listening

This can be easily done by using body language and various gestures.

  • Nod your head from time to time
  • Smile to the other person and use other facial expressions as well
  • Don’t cross your arms. Pay attention to your posture and make sure it is an open and inviting one.
  • Occasionally make small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh” to encourage the speaker to keep talking.

2. Be attentive

You should be giving the speaker your undivided attention at all times. Bear in mind that non-verbal communication can also send strong messages to the others around you.

  • make eye contact with the speaker, but not in an intimidating way. You can do this by constantly looking at their forehead, their eyes and their chin. This way they are still feeling your are looking at them and paying attention to them
  • Put away any distracting thoughts
  • Don’t let any environmental elements distract you and get your attention
  • Pay attention to your speaker’s body language and listen what it tells you.
  • Try not to talk to someone else while listening in a group setting.

3. Do not interrupt

Interrupting someone who is speaking is not only a waste of time but it also frustrating and you won’t understand the message well.

  • always allow the speaker to finish before making counter arguments

4. Give feedback

We usually interpret things we hear based on our personal judgments, assumptions and beliefs. As a good listener you need to understand exactly what is being said. This can only be done by reflecting on what has been said and asking questions

  • Use phrases like “What I’m hearing is…”, “Sounds like you are saying…” or “So what you are saying is…” to reflect back.
  • Use questions like “what exactly do you mean when you say …” or “is this what you mean?” to clarify certain points of the conversation.
  • Try to periodically summarize what the speaker is saying

 

Quick Tip:

If you feel that something the speaker said is personal and affecting you emotionally then say so and ask for more information. Try not to be offensive and be polite. Use a phrase like this:  “I may not be understanding you correctly, and I find myself taking what you said personally. What I thought you just said is BLANK; is that what you meant?”.

 

5. Give appropriate responses

By being an active listener means you respect and understand the other person. This requires you to not be offensive and attack the speaker or put him or her down by asking offensive questions or making harmful comments.

  • Be candid, open and honest with your responses
  • Express your opinions and comments with respect for the other person
  • Treat the other person just like you would want to be treated.

 

The Key Elements for Good Listening Skills

Having good listening skills takes a lot of concentration and determination. Don’t expect to improve your listening skills in a few days if your listening habits are as bad as many people’s are. 

Constantly remind yourself that your goal is to really hear what the other person is saying so make an effort to concentrate on him and don’t let other thoughts or factors grab your attention. 

Ask questions, make comments, reflect and paraphrase what the other person just said so that you make sure you understand the message they are trying to send. 

If you put into practice the tips you read today in this article you will become a better listener, you will be a more communicative person and you will improve your workplace productivity. Not to mention that you will develop better relationships, both at work and at home.